So Close!

I should be packing right now. We move in 6 days BUT we get keys to our new house in 2 DAYS!!! I cannot wait! We are almost home owners:) I feel so grown up!

My sister asked me the other day what type of baby Ethan is (according to the Baby Whisperer types).
The different types are (paraphrasing from Tracy Hogg's book):
Angel Baby Super amazing always happy never worry about anything; good as gold
Textbook Baby Happy most of the time and cries when it is normal to cry/fuss; very predictable baby
Touchy Baby Ultrasensative baby with lots of sensory challenges; always crying as things startle them easily
Spirited Baby Knows what they like/dislike; vocal & seems aggressive at the time; fast to do things ton their own
Grumpy Baby They are mad at the world and will let you know it; doesn't smile much and hates getting changed.

After taking the test Ethan is 70% Textbook, 25% Angel & 5% Touchy! So Ethan is a pretty good baby!!

About a week ago I decided to stop nursing Ethan to sleep for naps. I had tried to stay away from nursing him to sleep but after not napping for 2 months I finally gave in. Well it has been 8 days since I stopped and it is going quite well. I was so scared to try but then one Saturday I wanted to go pick something up but realized I couldn't leave Ethan that long as he was napping! (he would nurse a few minutes to go to sleep then nurse fully when he woke up!!) So I was constantly going to be stuck! So that made my resolve easy and I knew I was going to stick with it. It only took about 3 naps for him to get used to it.

There was one hard day after he had been doing well where he got very overstimulated before his nap and he cried for about 15 minutes with Ben trying to rock him and settle him! I tried to stay away as I really didn't want to give in a nurse him! His mobile finally did the trick and he calmed down by watching it and fell fast asleep! Now we have our little routine, turn on his nightlights and read a few books then sing him a song and put him in bed. He does this thing where he raises both of his legs and slams them down then brings them back up and slams them again... but I guess it soothes him as he quietly sucks on his soother and falls asleep in a few minutes!

I cannot imagine life without Ethan, he makes me smile all day long. Even as I am writing this, he is chilling in his bouncy chair vigorously chewing on the toys with a furrowed brow (but very quietly!)

He loves having his feet straight up in the air whenever we change him and he has found his feet... but he doesn't always touch them... he just stares at them... and watches and he claps them together!

my boy and his hands... always doing something with those hands!

Currently...

A blog I read by Melissa writes random blogs titled "Currently" then she writes what is going on! I love it! So I am taking her idea to write what is going on in my life right now...

Currently...
... Ethan is talking more and more every day... sometimes it sounds like he actually says word... one that comes up a lot is "Mommmmmmmm" which makes me happy happy happy!

... We are moving in 21 days and we have 3 boxes packed... hmm i need to do that today...

... I have plateaued in my weight and it makes me very frustrated... I lost half the weight in 2 weeks and have not lost any since then!

... Ethan is sleeping through the night which i LOVE!!!!! 7-730pm until somewhere in between 5-7am! Such a blessing... he loves night sleep just like his Daddy and Mommy...

... Ethan is a horrible napper! Four 40 minute naps are amazing days.

... We are grieving the loss of Ben's Oma. She passed away 11 days after meeting Ethan, her fourth great-grandchild. Being far away it feels odd that she will not be there when we go visit anymore. Here is one of my all time favorite pictures of her and Ethan...

... Ben is on the 12 day Wild Rose detox... which makes my cooking a lot simpler and healthier! Not a bad thing at all! I almost wish I could join him... but thankfully  I am breastfeeding and cannot:)

... It feels like we are in BC as it has rained for 2 weeks... I love it! Yes it's gloomy but it is making my world very very green!!!!

... Ben bought me a plant for my birthday... it's a test to see if we can plant flower at our new house... we will see if this thing dies or not!

... Life is not boring with a 3 month old...

... Ethan has become the master at grabbing and is quite good at getting the things he grabs into his mouth!

I had a wonderful first mother's day as well! Here is a picture from that day...

Growing Up...

Thanks everyone for your comments! I have decided to keep my blog public and only post random pictures not showing Ethan's face! I like the challenge of taking those photos!

Wearing Oma's booties & a wee Dutch Nijntje outfit from John and Geri Oort fresh from Holland!

Ben and I have lived in Calgary for exactly three years. As we are entering our fourth year we are moving into our fourth place in Calgary. It feels different this time because we own this house! It is such a great feeling.

The decision to buy a home has been something we have talked about for the last 2 years. We have prayed about it a lot in that time, but it was just never the right time.  A year ago I was hit with the realization that we are not going to be moving back to BC for a few more years. Ben had gone after a transfer and we were told not yet. It was hard for me to take especially with us talking about having a baby soon. I really didn't want to have a baby in Calgary. I wanted to have our baby in the Abbotsford Hospital where all our friends and family could come visit and where our babies grandparents were close by. The knowledge of us not leaving for at least a few more years has turned out to be a blessing. It has caused me to live more in the now and to build more of a life here. I have made a lot of new friends in the last year and the ones I already had have grown:) I just feel more at home here in Calgary now.

Now that I have had Ethan and really felt blessed by my midwives and the Foothills Hospital (even tho it was a crazy experience) and our rental house lease is coming up in June (at which time they are increasing the price by $200!!) we really had to pray about what our next move should be. After a lot of prayer we decided to see what we could afford and if we found a house that fit our needs in that budget!

I have worked in Real Estate for almost 6 years. In that time I have helped (behind the scenes) 400+ people buy & sell their homes. It's a weird feeling stepping from behind the scenes to becoming The Client. It happened so fast! Two weeks ago we got pre-approved with the bank, then I emailed Claire (my boss and Realtor) and told her we wanted to meet and see some houses. We met on the Thursday morning then viewed 5 houses that evening which were all horrible homes! Then in the middle of the night, while I was up feeding Ethan, I got an email about a house that just came on the market. The price was too good to be true but there was a few items we would have to compromise on and there were no pictures yet. I looked up old pictures of the house and did not like what I saw (way too much work needing to be done) so I left it. Then in the morning I got another email saying that the pictures had been uploaded... so I browsed them and wow it looked amazing! I decided to send it to Ben at work, to see what his thoughts were on the things we had to comprise on. He loved it and said, lets look! So after calling Claire, she tried to set up a showing but the Listing Realtor said no showings till Saturday! Oh dear. So we booked a showing for 9am Saturday.

The house was perfect, they had updated it nicely and the things we needed to compromise on were not so bad with what we were getting in addition! It was the first house we went through where I imagined what our furniture would look like, where it would, how I would arrange Ethan's room etc. We were beyond excited.

And to make a long story short, we wrote an offer and there were 2 other offers on the house made that day. We offered the same price as another buyer but we moved our possession date and the other buyer wouldn't so we got it! Then a week later we removed the financing and inspection conditions and the house is ours!  Now I get to think about packing up a house and moving with a 5 month old! Oh fun! But I know it will be so worth it!

A Conundrum... Advice Please!

SO. . .  I am not sure what to do! After thinking about it, discussing with Ben and getting advice from others I am thinking about making my blog private.

I would rather not have tons of picture of Ethan widely available on the internet, my Facebook is very private and so is my Instagram... so what to do.

I don't like the idea of a private blog as that requires a sign in which hinders a lot of people from signing up:) And I would really love people I know but are not regular bloggers to be able to read my posts.

I could not post pictures of Ethan... but I find blogs with pictures so much more enjoyable!

I could post pictures that don't really show him... that could work but limits the pictures I can post... it would be pictures like these....

I could create a totally new blog that is private and only has pictures of Ethan then have my main blog in which I post writing posts on... but then why not just post all the pictures to Facebook only

What to do what to do! Help please!! Would lack of pictures make you stop reading?

Ethan's Birth Story

This story is kinda hard for me to write. I have read so many birth stories and heard so many that I am very used to all the things that happen that should not necessarily be talked about (aka the gore)! So here is Ethan's Birth Story written without too much gore!

Monday, February 18, 2013 - 6 Days over due.
Went to my midwife appointment. Everything was great and they did a sweep to try and bring on labor.
That afternoon I bought McDonalds:) then that evening I was so tired we ate Tim Hortons... oh such nutrition.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013 - 1 week overdue.
4am-7am on - Woke up with severe pain in my lower back & pelvis and had really bad indigestion (darn you timmy's and McD's!)   Made several trips to the bathroom! I really didn't sleep much just kinda dozed through the pain.

7am - Got out of bed when Ben's alarm went off and BAM felt a contraction! So I started timing them! My instructions from my midwives were to count them and once they are 4 minutes apart, 1 minute long and stay like that for 1 hour constantly to call them. I was not able to sit at all, my pelvis was constantly in pain. The contractions were pretty bad but I was amazed at how easily I was able to get above the pain and ride out the contraction.

8am - Ben starts leaving for work... and I say... "hmm not a good idea hun" Ben replies "I'll just come back around noon." "Umm no you better not, I think this is gonna be fast..."

9am - Time flew by and when 9am arrived my contractions had been 4-1-1!! So first I called my mom to tell her.. then she got mad at me and told me to call my midwives immediately!

10:30am - My midwife, Elise, arrived. She was shocked to see I was almost 7cm already! (I think she had taken her time as she thought I was still in the early stages:))

10:45ish (time starts getting mixed up here) -  After running around to get everything ready to head to the hospital and going bathroom and changing etc we head to the hospital... Now this was horrible. In the car was the first time I had to actually sit and boy did it hurt! It was harder to get above the contractions as I had such horrible permanent pain! and of course there was lots of traffic as it was rush hour and we were heading through the city!!

11:15ish - Finally arrived at the hospital, people staring at me as I tried to control a contraction as we waited for the elevators. Our room was great!! We had a bath tub meaning if I wanted I could have a water birth!! I was unsure though...The bath was soo soothing, I had a hot shower and let it hit my back which lessened the pain a lot, then I had a nice hot bath. In the bath is when I started to feel the urge to push. But I was only 9 1/2cm so Elise said not to do anything yet.

1pm?? maybe... - The urge to push kept getting stronger so I got out of the bath and just stood by the bed. Finally my water breaks! By this time the contractions are getting harder to control.

2pm - Finally they tell me to get on the bed and start pushing... oh boy... it was so painful to be on my back but pushing was so much better than the contractions... it felt like I was finally doing something! Not just enduring! They would check Ethan's heart rate after every contraction/pushing. After who knows how long, they had a hard time finding his heart rate. They couldn't tell if it was mine or his... so they tried to hook me up and compare... that didn't work... so they tried a monitor on my stomach... that didn't work... so finally they inserted a Fetal Monitor and found that his heart rate was not going back up after each contraction. So my midwives called for an OB to come assist.

My OB was Dr Brain! Really great lady:) She came in and found he was sunny side up (which my midwives had thought, hence all my back labor!) Which means his face was looking the wrong way. SO she decided to try and manually turn him... Oh boy, no drugs and that... now that is painful! She felt so bad as usually women have epidurals so they don't feel as much! Well Ethan stubbornly would not turn... so Dr Brain turned to the vacuum... she tried to give me a "stint" which blocks some of the nerves... but it didn't work... so I had the happy pleasure of feeling IT ALL!! She successfully turned him and then he moved a bit and decided to be stubborn AGAIN and would not come any farther...

This is when time speeds up like crazy! Ben is told that things are gonna get crazy and a lot of people and gonna come in the room and yup that happened... I was almost 100% oblivious to it all. Dr Brain called for an OR to be prepped and bam people poured in and my bed started rolling down the hallway (and bumpy!! they hit every wall!!) I was trying so hard not to think about having a C-section... I just kept pushing as hard as I could...

Then I saw Ben in scrubs and realized this c-section is gonna happen! Oh dear! The anesthesiologist came and told me he was gonna knock me out etc... then Dr Brain said "He is so close, he is almost there. I am going to try forceps" and I said "YES PLEASE". Then the anesthesiologist piped in and said "Let me know if you want any drugs" To which I was way too preoccupied! After what I think was a few minutes and lot of people cheering me on in the OR Ethan was born at 2:47pm! Phew did it feel good to be done! They let me hold Ethan for a minute, Ben cut the cord, then the nurses took him.  Ethans cries were so soft at first then after a minute I heard a real cry:)

A few hours later I remember just thinking... "YES IT'S DONE!!! and I have my precious bundle!"

Overall looking back on how the day went and how I prepared for it, I am very thankful I read all that I did. One of the worries I had was that I would read too much and be over prepared! With that in mind I read two books, both written by midwives. Ina May's Guide To Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin and Baby Catcher by Peggy Vincent. I loved both of them! Baby Catcher is more of a story book telling her experiences of catching babies (as midwives call delivering a baby:)). Ina May's book is a whole wack of women writing their child's birth stories as well as Ina May writing about how the body and labour work. That was such a helpful section for me.

I also loved hearing everyone who recently had babies birth stories. I was fascinated by the variety of stories. Some easy some hard and some in the middle! I was a little nervous that my fascination would make me over think labour and make it really hard but in reality it helped me! When things started to spiral out of control during my labour I was able to stay in control of my emotions and just keep on pushing and going with the flow.

I also got some great advice from my sister, who has had 3 children all with different labours (the last one drug free), and my friend in Scotland, Stephanie who just had her first baby in early January and also did it drug free, about how to relax and control contractions. Their advice lined up perfectly with what Ina May talks about. Thank you ladies for your advice, I really believe it is what got me through this labour drug free!

Ethan Eric Timmermans

12 days ago we became a family of three. Oh how crazy, amazing and shocking it was. I do want to write out Ethan's birth story, but that just might take some time:) For now I will just write about my new life as a Stay At Home Mom.

Ethan is precious. After he was born I felt quite odd. I kept looking at him and kept feeling like "he is mine!?" It was such an odd feeling. He was outside of my body and he had a face and little body. No more of just feeling his kicks and hiccups!

Oh how I love it. I am surprised at how well I have been able to cope with the lack of sleep. Although I was spoiled for the first week! My mom flew out two days after Ethan was born. As she is an early early riser, she would take Ethan every morning after he nursed (usually between 6am-7am) and I could sleep with no interruptions for a couple hours. Boy was it heavenly! She also cooked and cleaned which was a huge blessing. Talk about leftovers galore! She left this last Tuesday and I am surprised at how normal it is already!! We are definitely not in a routine but Ethan is a great kid!

We also had a great visit from my sister in law Andrea and her two daughters! They came down for the day and the girls were precious with Ethan, they could not get enough of him! They couldn't stop talking about how tiny he was either!

Ben's parents are over this weekend and it has been great. More sleeping in for me and Mom has been cooking and cleaning! Such a blessing! It is hard not living near family but these past two weeks has been wonderful with family visiting!

Here are some of my favorite pictures of Ethan so far:)

Newly home and having some Father & Son bonding time. 

Mommy & Son bonding time too!

Grammie's favorite time with Ethan. 

Cousin Rachel love

Auntie Andrea & cousins Rachel & Kyla celebrating Ethan's Birth Day with us!

Grandma & Grandpa love

tick tock tick tock.. 40 Weeks Today!

Today is the day! Happy Due Date Baby!!

Exhaustion has a new meaning to me right now. Whew... do laundry, a few groceries, get a massage, make some salsa and BAM I am out for the count! Another thing getting me ready for even more exhaustion once baby boy is here!

I really thought he would be an early baby, but nope! He wants to be a normal first born and make the new mommy to be wait and wait and wait! Oh well. I am just taking in my time alone. And this quiet house, which will soon become a screaming household.

Being far from home our hospital visit will be quite quiet which is very odd for me, as I love having people around. But it makes me very exciting for my mom and ben's parents to show up and meet their new grandson! On Ben's side we are evening out the boys. Now there will be 2 granddaughters & 2 grandsons. But on my side of the family we are adding to the pile of boys making it 2 granddaughters and 4 grandsons!

It is funny how I thought I was gonna have an early baby yet here I am on my due date and the nursery isn't even fully ready! We still have to hang the pictures! How odd is that! Maybe that is why Baby T doesn't want to come out yet, his room isn't fully ready! I better put those up tonight, oh and his lamp needs a lightbulb but that is Daddy's fault because I tried all these dead lightbulbs we have sitting in a box for some reason.... Daddy better get on that.

How far along? 40 Weeks
Total weight gain: 44 lbs (Not sure where that came from! Gained 5lbs in 1 week! oy!!)
Maternity clothes? Mostly... my fave is my maternity tights! So comfortable!
Stretch marks? My tummy will forever show that Baby T really like to push on my right side as that is the only place on my tummy they have appeared!!
Sleep: Not good! Lots of moaning as I try to turn over, Ben kept thinking I was going into labor last night!
Best moment this week: Date night with the husband before baby!
Miss Anything? Coffee!
Movement: He has periods that he sleeps forever then all of a sudden he is up for hours!
Food cravings: Icecream cake from DQ... debating on asking Ben to pick me up one!
Anything making you queasy or sick: nope
Gender: BOY!!!!
Labor Signs: Pelvis pain, back pain, leg pain...
Belly Button in or out? Still in
Wedding rings on or off? Still off
Happy or Moody most of the time: Tired... but excited
Looking forward to: Seeing baby for the first time!!

Whew what a difference!!! (Don't look at my chubby arms and face!!!)

Dear Son

To my dearest son,

Only 7 days till your due date, which means in 17 days or less I will be holding you in my arms. It doesn't seem real to me at all. I cannot wait to lay my eyes on your adorable face. I wonder every day what you will look like. If you will have my Neufeld smile or Ben's Timmermans cute droopy eyes. If you will be a blondie like me and your Daddy. If you will have Daddy's straight hair or my curly hair!

I also wonder what type of boy you will be, if you will be the loud mouth of the group or the kind quiet boy who takes in everything. There are so many details I cannot wait to find out.

Having you grow inside of me has been a pretty amazing experience. You have been so good to me. Barely any morning sickness and not too many aches & pains. The worst you do is stick your bum out which creates a very bruised and odd looking tummy for me! But the pain is not too bad and I can pat your bum and rub your back!

I love the way you are so relaxed and don't do too many jumping jacks. I love how you always reassure me you are OK by moving when I get nervous and I haven't felt you move in a while (which causes me to think you are a sleepy boy, please keep being a sleepy boy for your mama's sake!). I love how you respond instantly to your Daddy when he is talking to you. I love how you kick him in the face when he tries to listen to your heartbeat. I love how you get super excited whenever I rock in a rocking chair, looks like you may have some of your Daddy's traits!

I am told that boys are easier than girls. I am filled with trepidation and excitement for what is in store for your Daddy and I. To teach, train and show you how to be a man of God, a gentleman and a great friend.

I cannot wait to take pictures of you and with you, baby boy! You can't come soon enough!

Love your very excited Mama!

* photos taken by Joanne Abraham Photography

38 Weeks...

Wow 38 weeks already. I definitely look like I am about to pop! I can't quite say I am ready though, but when will I ever be fully ready! There is a lot of unknown that comes with having a baby! What kind of baby will he be? Will he be a peaceful baby or a colicky baby? But there is no point in thinking about it too much! I am just trying to be half prepared for anything!

Even my hospital bag is only half ready! I pack better under pressure anyway! The nursery is slowly coming along... still more laundry to do and lots of organization! Plus we need to buy a crib mattress and change pad! I do love not working, so far! I didn't think I would, I am a person who loves schedules but if there isn't one, I get so lazy and lethargic! But my last three weeks have been packed!

I had a wonderful shower thrown for me last friday, it was lots of fun! I was amazed at all the wonderful gifts I got! I sat down afterward and wrote out all the things we need now and was shocked at how small the list is!

How far along? 38 Weeks
Total weight gain: 37 lbs
Maternity clothes? Well in this picture I am wearing a non maternity outfit... but that is a very rare thing!
Stretch marks? They are starting to spread... oh no!
Sleep: Off and on... last night was so great... but that may have been since Ben was away and I had the whole bed to myself!
Best moment this week: Baby kicking none stop for 30 minutes... which is very rare for him to do! I think either he missed Daddy or he is really getting tired of being so squished!
Miss Anything? Working out! With all this time off I would love to just go for a long run!
Movement: Lots! enough said!
Food cravings: Cheeseburgers
Anything making you queasy or sick: not really
Gender: BOY!!!!
Labor Signs: Pelvis pain and increased braxton hicks!
Belly Button in or out? In... I dunno if it will ever pop...
Wedding rings on or off? Off... i hate it
Happy or Moody most of the time: Tired... but happy
Looking forward to: Coming home with baby